I took pictures of Cooper after school yesterday. He was looking so cute in his new Owl hat, I couldn't resist. A lot of things have been going through my mind lately. It was nice just coming home and taking a few pics of him and playing in the leaves before getting ready for dinner.
We are currently on babysitter number four since the beginning of the school year, which has only been 10 weeks. Melinda, a good freind of mine is starting to watch Cooper tomorrow. Without her I don't know what I would have done. Friends are such a blessing! The stress of finding a babysitter on such short notice paired with multiple other issues (our home tax rebate, my car needing fixed,parent teacher conferences this week and so on...) would have totally broke me if I didn't love Jesus. Without him in my life I would totally feel hopeless at this point.
The message at Church this Sunday really spoke to me. Jesus is my strength.
Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
So, I am trying to be thankful for all that God has provided for me. I have a job, which a lot of people cannot say right now, my Dad included. I have a faithful Husband, while some of my friends are currently going through divorces because of unfaithfulness. I have a healthy one year old, while others are spending endless nights in hospital rooms with thier sick children. I have a roof over my head, food in my pantry, and friends and family who are there for me when I need them. Thank you God for taking care of me, even when everything seems so chaotic in my life, you have a way of keeping me humble and thankful for all you provide.
Still, I feel confused, sad, worried, guilty (all of the above) about leaving Cooper with a babysitter all week even though I know he is in good hands. I always thought I would have no problem being a working Mom, and that I wouldn't want to stay home with my kids. But lately...things have changed. I am doing a little research this week about art lessons for homeschoolers. Hopefully, in between all the things of life that seem to get in the way, I can contact the people I need to and figure some things out. I'll keep you posted. I am really searching for my purpose and where my priorities should lye. Question of the week: Am I willing to give up things and our comfortable lifestyle, to temporarily stay at home with my son and focus on family? Am I able to trust God fully that he will provide if this is something he has truly called me to do?
